Hip To The Game

If I wasn't hip to the game, it'd be quite easy to get swept up in your words. 2013. A destination wedding. Me and You. But see, I have had these convos before and just like them, right now, the cart is way before the horse. But I oblige, because make believe is fun. It's pretend, like dress up. Instead of being a kid trying on my Mama's Clinique and high heels, I'm trying on the role of a wife and mom, in Louboutins.

If I wasn't hip to the game, my heart might melt at you saying how you understand why I need for you to cook, so my babies wouldn't eat McD's if I am away and you understood. Even laid how you made sure Jr. would get a balanced meal, but it wouldn't be like my food....of course.

If I wasn't hip to the game, my heart might skip at you saying you want to be part of a team, you don't want me to do everything, so I'd cook and you'll clean.

If I wasn't hip to the game, I swear you mentioning the thought of a son that's a blend of us...well....yeah that took me down, just a bit. And you mentioning that on my return trips home, you'd let him stay up so he can have Mommy time, and then promptly put him to bed so YOU can have Mommy time...well that also took me down a little more.

If I wasn't hip to the game, the fact that you said you'd be there to help me through this process because you've been here. Well that really took me down, because this right here...is hard. And knowing that there would be someone to rub my feet, back, fix me a plate, cuddle or whatever me...sounds mighty comforting right now.

But sadly..I am hip to the game and that means these words....are just words. I would LOVE for them to be action, but until then. I'll play dress up with you. We can walk down a future memory lane and play "what if". And really, that's all I have to give.