contentness

I have a coworkerfriend that is a new term I'm trying out. She is a fabulous woman. She is spiritual, health conscious, and she is literally a light in the office. It's been many a time, she's given me advice to my EXACT situation, simply by talking. She had no clue what was going on with me. So she is a blessing to say the least.

She recently made a life change, that threw us all for a loop, and her response was "Nothing comes without struggle, there is a testimony behind it." We had a long talk, and in it, she made the comment "I've come to realize I'm not having children, I'm 41 with too much reproductive damage", (this made me tear up a little because she would be such an awesome Mom). Another coworker, made the comment that she didn't know what would happen, and all she kept saying was I've accepted it and I'm fine with it.

It made me think, at some point we all live our lives in some point of incompleteness or sense of being unfulfilled. For the ambitious, we always want a newer car, bigger house, a better job. Instead of vacationing in the FL keys we aim to vacation in the South of France. There is nothing wrong with that, because you know that you can work towards those goals. You can apply for better jobs, look for a new car, and save up for a big house.

What about the things you can't control, like babies and marriage? There is a level of contentment you have to have with the current level of your life, otherwise you'd be continuously restless (sounds familiar). You will be continuously bothered by the fact that you can't/don't have something not within your control. So for sanity's sake you need to be ok with it. You have to be happy in the space you're in, otherwise you'll be unsettled. And I realize how easy that is to type, but VERY hard to execute.

When my coworker spoke of finally accepting she wasn't having kids, she seemed at peace with it. The truth is we really don't know what will happen for her, and just because SHE's accepting a child-free life doesn't mean that it'll be, but the fact that she's happy whether it happens or doesn't resonated with me. She's content in her space. She's good with her circumstances. And she said she was in a much better place mentally.

At first I thought, she resigned herself to the fact. It's like "well it's never happening, I might as well accept it", but then I realized even that takes patience and strength. How many times has a situation been in front of us and we've said we accept it as is, but in our hearts we don't. We still wonder, ponder and linger for a change, and to see her wholly accept it, again, resonated deep within me.

Of course we all hope that she has kids, but the fact she feels like her life is fulfilled with our without kids, struck me.

And it really gave me something to think about.