when it's bad. I am good.

I am a sporadic writer. My writing is very much tied to my emotions. I can write short stories and essays with the best of them. Nothing too in-depth, or requiring a lot of time, short story development, no long plot, minute character details (although my grammar is terrible!). So I am at my literary best, when my life is at its worst.

The positive side is that writing is cathartic for me. I really work through a lot of my emotions and thoughts and ideas and feelings. If I write it all out, I feel free. It's a true release. The fact that I share it here, also means you have a sneak peek into some things that I am realizing or discovering about myself, as I actually realize it.

I can sit in front of a computer and let my fingers express all of my emotion, through my tears, anger and angst. It's so refreshing and sometimes exhausting. When I write about the same thing over and over again, I get tired of what I have to say. I feel like "Is this it?" Is this all I have to talk about. Then I have to remember and remind myself, my writing is not necessarily for public consumption, first off it's for me. It's God's gift to me, to silence a unbelievably noisy and rarely silent mind. It's one of my few gifts that benefits me in feeling peace. Whether it's hands to keyboard or pen to pad, I can always remember writing my way through emotional times.

The fact that others can read and receive my writing is a whole different type of blessing to me. Most times I feel like I'm a mess, trying to cement my footing in this world. So when people can confirm my thoughts' existence, I feel less alone in this world.