Lenten Promises

It's Lent. I like Wiki's lent write-up. Go read it, I'll wait.

*twiddles thumbs* You back? Good.

Anywho, I've been celebrating Lent since I was a wee lass. It's pretty much ingrained in me. This year I'm giving up drank alcohol and leeches dating. Yep. No drinks and no dates. It's a method to my madness. Oh and I'm going to church every Sunday. Watching church online will be a back-up alternative only, not a method of attending church.

Why am I giving alcohol? Because I drink too much. It's quite a simple answer. I'm not a social drinker, I am an emotional drinker. I drink when I'm happy, sad, angry, mad, the sky is blue, whatever, I will raise a glass. But when emotions are in constant motion, as they have been of late, my nightly glass has become a requirement, not a decision. A simple nightcap has become a means of self-medication, and I would like to stop it....while I can. Now what sucks is that when shit really hits the fan, I will have to deal with it...sober. Le Sigh.

Dating. I am in a very, very, weird and dark place with men. I want a relationship, but I keep ending up in these interactions that have crazy outcomes. V-day was really what set it off, it was a very blatant display of my worth to these "men". Nothing like indifference to show you really care (that should be a hallmark card). Then a trusted advisor told me that with this new guy to "take it slow". That shocked me! Me needing to take it slow?! Normally I move so slow, I go backwards. So when she said that, I really knew somewhere on this path, I'd gotten things all confused, so I'm taking a step back from everyone and attempting to gain some clarity.

Church. I have been looking for a church home, well since I left my last church home. I keep saying it, but haven't acted on it. That changes this Sunday.